Trying to make sense of it all

It's been a day of turbulent thoughts, trying to make sense of the senseless, find reasons for the unreasonable and each time, coming back to the conclusion that there is no sense, no reason, nothing to rage against. Life just isn't fair. Sh*t happens.

Fergie, my clubmate, was only a couple of months older than me and consequently I identify with his death more closely than I might otherwise. The only consoling thought that I can draw from his sudden death is that whilst I doubt that he was ready to die (is anyone?), there are worse ways to go. This thought will provide little comfort for his wife and family though and I wish I could think of the words that would make sense of it, make it all better, but I just can't find them, probably because they just don't exist.

Regarding yesterday's weird attack of nocturnal cramp and muscle tear, rest and elevation wasn't going to be on the cards for family reasons but I applied some tubigrip and iced it three or four times through the day and by the afternoon, the pain had completely vanished which rather begs the question "was it ever a tear?". All I know is that it was darned painful and I was limping with it until midday.

Anyhow, I decided to go out for a gentle jog this evening and ended up doing a quickish 9 miles with nary a niggle. Not a good idea I'm sure but sometimes running seems to be the best therapy for both physical and spiritual problems.